Frankly Speaking Blog
The world's system is such that you need other people and their resources to survive and be comfortable. All that you need to live a healthy, comfortable and secured life is not entirely within your control, hence, the need for continuous exchange and transaction – offering what you have for all you need.
Money is what represents value when it comes to exchange of goods and services. You have a skill, you have a service; you have a product that you want to exchange for something you lack but need? Money makes it happen. The barter era is no longer the primary process of value exchange, nowadays, you'll offer what you have, receive money payments, then offer the money for something else you need.
Money has become extremely important to all mankind if one is to survive, live a decent life and even fulfil dreams, vision and destiny. Money has become quite key.
A blessing is an act of approval for someone to be favoured or promoted. It is an authorisation by a superior being to favour, promote, enrich, support, endorse or enhance a lesser individual.
A blessing can be divinely bestowed by the almighty or by a mere mortal with the capacity to do so.
I think more than anything else, what we all desire especially in Nigeria is that grace to be blessed. We want to be blessed. In all we do we want to be blessed. As individuals, as families, regarding the work of our hands, in business, financially, materially, in marriage and relationships and as a nation we all want to be blessed.
Hence, many of us are religious inclined in our ways – living lives, following instructions, doctrines, rules, guidelines and principles that will please God and may eventually attract divine blessings.
We all want to be favoured, promoted, enhanced, protected, enriched, enlarged, and made great.
We want favour all around, increase all around, multiplication in all we have, back to back promotion at work and we want to be lifted far above all our enemies. We want to be blessed which of course is a very good thing.
One of the many lessons I've learnt that has helped me in managing people and my relationships rather well thus far, is the ability to listen not just to what people say but what they are not saying as well. In many discussions bothering on relationships, when people opt to become sentimental and subjective, they really don't tell the truth about their reasons for hurt or disappointments and why they are mad at you, they most times look for an excuse or fathom a story to justify their negative dispositions towards you.
Let me make this clearer, dear friend, many times close people are actually angry at you and are unhappy with you because you are successful and doing well in life. They will never disclose this to you because they will appear awful and they know, so they start looking for faults in every way possible to make it look like it's your fault, you're the problem, you're the bad guy and their upset should be admissible.
They at times shockingly claim you're proud, arrogant, selfish, greedy, condescending or disrespectful. When in truth your continuous back to back success that appears pretty easy and seamless compared to their own experience is their real pain and upset. Of course no sane person will look you in the eye and say to you they're mad at you and fighting you because you're doing well in life. Such a one will be termed a witch or a warlock especially in our society. However, this reality my friend is the basis for many relationship crisis and problems in our lives and our society at large.
A Potential is having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future. I want you to take a good look at yourself this morning, just think of you and consider how far you have grown and developed over the years. Remember, if you can, the cute and lovely you as a kid of five years old, how you used to jump and play and run around the whole place and get excited and attracted to so many kiddie stuff like toys, cartoon movies and just playing and having fun with other little kids your age.
Then with time you evolved, became older and more mature. You became a teenager and other things began to interest you, began to attract you and occupy you. You also changed in appearance. You became bigger, more masculine or feminine in appearance, your body changed and your adulthood began to emerge. Then at last you became a full grown adult. And of course, teenage stuff was no longer that exciting or attractive; your thinking, priorities, interest, activities and perspectives in life changed considerably, and you began to behave differently from when you were a teenager – from when you were a child.
Dear friend, do you realise how you are today in physical appearance was not acquired from the outside? You always had it on your inside. Your adult body features were not acquired from the environment, the market place or the hospital, you had it all along on the inside of you even as a child. You didn't buy your beard, or buy your natural hips, backside, boobs or your husky voice; your height or your matured looks, you always had these features in you right from when you were a little child. These features with time materialised and became obvious – making you a very good looking and attractive adult simply because you didn't stop feeding. You ate and drank everyday of your life. You protected your body and stayed healthy; and with time, the beautiful matured you that was hidden in your same body as a child man
Many of us today are not very happy or confident in life as perhaps we do not understand life well enough. We are aware of some things that have happened and some things that could happen but we hardly understand or seek to take note or decipher why they happened.
The world is set in a particular order. The world is about people, territories, events and purpose. Living things play a critical role in the unfolding of events strongly supported by non-living things. The non-living is made for the living to thrive and excel.
The inorganic constitute the materials and resources provided by the creator for mankind to utilise and make this world and living an awesome, remarkable, beautiful and excellent experience.
You see, the earth was created and finished by God but not the world. The earth is a territory, but the world is a system operating on territory earth. God the maker created and finished the earth. But He created a pattern for the world sustaining it through various laws and handed the concept to mankind to build and complete. God made the earth but gave man the charge to create a beautiful world on the earth He made. The earth is a territory; a very rich place. But the world is a system of lifestyle, livelihood, innovation, creativity, development, administration and social structure.
In the recruitment arm of our business we naturally have encounters with many young graduates who are in dire need of employment. They have the paper qualifications alright but can't just seem to scale through the recruitment process successfully due to their short comings in capacity, mindset and mentality.
It's sad that over the years, many of us have jettisoned that personal sense of responsibility for so many things in our lives. In reaction to many matters of life, either personally or generally speaking, most of us tend to easily hold others responsible for our failures and give ourselves too much credit for the few successes we record.
Typically, when someone scales through a job interview successfully, they rejoice and boast about how well they prepared, performed, prayed and eventually succeeded. If on the other hand they do not scale through, they would hardly admit they had anything to do with it, they'd rather blame it on the interviewer being too strict, the process being irrelevant and complex or simply conclude the employers already have their candidates in mind and the interview was just mere formalities.
These are conclusions based on convenient assumptions without any proof, yet we choose to believe it's the fact simply because we do not want to admit we did not do well enough to earn the employment.
This experience is not just with recruitment or employment, that's the way many of us respond or react to many life issues. When things go right, we take the credit, when things don't go right we reject responsibility and put the blame on someone, something, the process or the institution.
As mankind our emotions are very powerful. Our emotions basically are expressed through the way we feel towards different things and situations. We are somethings happy, sometimes glad, sometimes sad; sometimes miserable, we get angry sometimes and some other times indifferent. At every point in time in our life, we are exhibiting one or more of the many emotions we're capable of expressing as human beings.
Our emotions, most times determine our actions. Many of us act most of the time based on what we feel. Our good deed or bad deeds are all informed and influenced by how we feel at that point in time. This implies our emotions play a critical role in the unfolding of our lives every day.
As people, we've lost great friends, great relationships, great opportunities and advantages based on our emotions, actions and reactions. And we've gained great people, privileges and advantages based on how we expressed our emotions to certain people and in certain circumstances.
As older kids, teenagers and young adults, we had dreams of very brilliant, bright and successful future. We nursed dreams about our lifestyles, life qualities, family lives, achievements, accomplishments and even riches.
We dreamt about certain kind of cars, beautiful houses in classy neighbourhoods, travels and vacations to exotic spots, and a very fancy lifestyle in general.
Never did we dream, anticipate or plan for a future of insufficiency, financial struggle, deprivation, constraints and limitation, we wanted a limitless experience in life. We wanted to dream and bring all our dreams to pass.
Many of us hardly planed for a regular life or an average income, as young people we never planned to be broke, restricted or helpless. We dreamt so big and our dreams got us excited and made us smile.
Even now, speaking to many young people about their future, most of what you'll hear are great things they want to do, own and accomplish. All great and magnificent stuff; nothing small, nothing minor, nothing regular.
Many of us have experienced losses in our lives in time past. We've lost very precious things, people, relationships and opportunities. Many of us can even now begin to remember that good friend that we lost, relationships that we lost, marriages that we lost, jobs that we lost, businesses that we lost, positions that we lost and good feelings we can't connect with any longer.
Many of us, by the reason of some tough things we went through have lost our confidence, our pride, our self-esteem and our happiness. Many of us have lost many valuable things in time past in our lives.
Dear friend, truth is, your ability to obtain and retain most things in your life is not about luck or good fortune but personality. If you really think about it, most of the things you gained and lost in your life must have been a matter of coincidence and happenstance. Those things just came into your life; you were just at the right place at the right time with the right people when you obtained. You really didn't deliberately pursue and obtain. These things, these people, these opportunities came and left just as they came. Not all, most.
The reason many of what you had and lost left your life is simply because you perhaps lacked the capacity to retain them. You perhaps, lacked the required wisdom, maturity, knowledge and skills to retain all those good things you obtained but eventually lost.
And there we were having this interesting discussion with some younger people after a recording session at the studio. A couple of millennia who had very strong opinions about life. They held some powerful views about relationships, money, success, marriage, politics and even people. I paid attention to all they had to say and to be honest it got me worried how sincerely wrong they were on their views about most of these subjects.
They didn't know very much but they thought they did. Their strongly held beliefs about these subjects especially money, marriage and success were based on what they had seen in movies, found on social media and in gist with their peers.
Their opinions were so unrealistic, had no depth, quite superficial and they spoke as if everything required to succeed in life depended solely on them.
They spoke as though they could never get it wrong in marriage, they believed hard work was all they needed to succeed and they concluded the older generation don't really know much about this life.
The reason many of us fall short of success many times is because we do not clearly define what we want in life. I want a car, I want a house, I want a lot of money, I want to travel overseas, I want to school abroad, I want to own a business, I want to get married will all remain a pipe dream without a definite and clear stating of exactly what you want.
For example, if you want to buy a car, don't just say you want to buy a car and end it there, identify the brand you want, the colour you want, find out how much it costs and activate a plan towards the particular day you want to pay for the car. This should also apply to other exciting dreams and things you want to acquire in life.
When you do not define your desires clearly, when a clear mental picture of what you want is not in place, when a time plan for accomplishment is absent, failure, my dear friend is imminent.
For example, It is quite stressful and wrongly timed to begin to make plans to replace your car when it is already old and problematic. You'll probably end up buying anything that comes your way as long as it's better than the one you currently have. You don't begin to plan and prepare for a car replacement when the car begins to age, no, you start planning towards a replacement, from the very first day you buy a new car. This habit will save you a lot of trouble and stress when it comes to achieving dreams and visions in life.
Ladies and gentlemen, for your life to be meaningful, it must be coordinated and organised around clearly defined purposes.
It is very common today to find people with great and exciting dreams and ambitions without making moves or with activities directed towards fulfilling these ambitions.
Engage anyone long enough on a heart to heart discussion these days and you will hear them confess their exact feelings towards the way they live right now and the preferred one they really wish for and want.
Truth is, many today are living for life not living their lives. How do I mean? Many people's daily actions are reactions to their situations and circumstances. Many are not deliberate or in charge of their choices and are not deciding what they really want in life. They accept whatever life throws at them and submit to the dictates of conditions and situations.
Think with me today and review your own life as is today? If it were your decision to make, would you still be in your current place of employment or you'll be in another? Would you settle for your current monthly income or you'll prefer much more? Would you still be living in your current abode or will prefer a different kind of apartment in a better neighbourhood? If you have a choice, wouldn't you want to be free to do what you want, when you want and the way you want without the fear or excess control of a boss or employer?
Your life quality and standard of living; will this be it if it was all a matter of just talking and doing nothing?
For any business to grow and expand, the business managers must be very good at finding and retaining the right customers. Every business in the world today has the potential of becoming a billion dollar company no matter what they're into. The ability to persuade and convince millions or even billions of potential customers all over the world to buy from them will determine how rich they become.
The wealth and success of any business is directly linked to the size and number of customers they have. If you're selling even pure water, if you sell 1 million sachets at 5 naira to 1 million people every day, you make 5 million naira a day. For a month - that is 30 days, you'll make 150 million naira. I do not think there's any paid employee in Nigeria who currently earns a hundred million naira as salary every month. Salary will earn you a living, business would earn you a lifestyle of your dreams. Anyway, that's by the way.
Growing and retaining your customers is very critical to your business success.
For many years the emphasis by business owners and marketing practitioners has been on the ability to grow and retain your customers. Business owners are encouraged and trained on how to identify their customers, segment the market, and understand their customers. They periodically through research, study and understand the buying behaviours and attitudes of their customers.
Customer service is a big deal to any growing and thriving business. Employees are trained in the art of customer service -,"the customer is always right" has become a generally acceptable cliché in the business world.
As realistic as the challenge of separation is in life, it is not an easy experience. Being apart from people, places and experiences we're used to and passionate about can be really hard for some of us to cope with. There are some of us who naturally think deeply and feel deeply on the account of our temperament. For those of us wired this way, unwanted separation can really be difficult.
I know people who lost friends and lovers and for many years couldn't recover as much as they tried. I know people who were dumped by ex-lovers and even some who got divorced and they remember and lament and mourn about the experience every single day. For them, it's been so hard moving on from the experience.
As natural and as guaranteed as separation is in life, for some of us, it is very difficult for us to cope with.
Two basic emotions make it difficult for many to move on from disappointments brought about by separation; first, Offence, second, guilt.
When we can't handle separation it's perhaps because we actually interpret it as rejection hence, it hits directly on our self-esteem. When a close friend, a lover or someone intimate walks away, we immediately feel low and worthless. We sometimes feel used or misused especially if we've invested so much in time, emotions and cash in the relationship.
We feel the other party used us, took advantage of us and played us for a fool. Most times we even yearn for a way to hit back or retaliate but it's hard to hurt someone who no longer has emotional ties or feelings for us.
Separation from people, situation, experiences and levels in life is natural whether you like it or you don't. If you don't walk away from people they will eventually walk away from you. Even if you all swear to stick together for life, I assure you time, chance and situations will separate all of you. If you don't leave an employment, you will eventually be asked to leave one day, if you don't walk away from a group, they may eventually disconnect from you; even ultimately in life your own children will separate from you as adults to form their own homes.
Separation is a tough but natural challenge in life. Ignoring the reality or wishing it away therefore is not the wisest approach. What we all must do, is master the coping mechanism when eventually we have to separate from people, places, situations, levels and conditions.
Many times we envision separation in its extreme, like when it has to do with a divorce or even death. But there are some mild kind of separations that also hurt and can affect us even if it isn't that grievous.
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