Frankly Speaking Blog
Lately I ran into one of my old colleague. She looked very tired, exhausted and distressed. We hadn't seen in a long while and we were glad to meet again. I asked how she was doing and she let off a sad smile, her eyes were tired and dull, she had eye bags and a few wrinkles were beginning to show on her, once upon a time very smooth and bright face.
She didn't look or sound excited, she was withdrawn and almost cold. She was obviously tired, not just physically but emotionally, and I sense someone trying hard not to give up or throw in the towel.
She works with a very good, well established company and she is actually a very top management staff. She is well paid too and has no money problems. After engaging in discussion with her for a while, it was clear what the main problem was.
At her place of work, she leads a critical team of very discouraged, demotivated and troublesome employees. The role of the team is very important to the business and she is in charge, however the pressure was just becoming unbearable as her team members aren't willing, supportive or committed and consequently, the directorate and the MD are daily ‘crucifying' her for back to back failures on projects and deadlines.
"Leaders take responsibility" they tell her, hence she can't honestly put the blame on the attitude and disposition of her team, yet her team members in truth are actually the main problem.
Money is very important in life. Money however should not be a goal in life, whoever sets riches as a goal in life will end up very frustrated and dissatisfied. Money is not an end in itself but a means to an end. Money itself means nothing, it is what it can do that makes it important and attractive.
My dear friends, do you want money? Do you really want to be rich, the question is why?
If you're yet to determine and articulate a meaningful reason for your pursuit of cash, you'll be enslaved by money. Money is a beautiful servant but a terrible master. Lacking purpose for your desire for riches will automatically make money your master and this can ruin you.
To every man alive, there is a point you get to when you make enough to live comfortably and afford the basic needs of life if you work hard enough.
Once you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back and can feed well and sustain all these including paying essential bills, you're very okay.
Truth is, there is a big difference between what you want in life and what you really need to survive, once you can conveniently pay for your needs, you're fine.
Anything you can survive well without is tantamount to a want, not a need.
Without a doubt, creativity is the currency of success in today's world. The most creative people are the most progressive, the most prosperous and the most influential people in the world today. As a country, no matter the volume of your natural resources, and the number of your human citizens, you will remain controlled and dominated by smaller nations with creative citizens.
As an individual, no matter your course of study or profession, no matter your grade upon graduation, no matter how outstanding you were amongst your peers while in school, if in your practice or vocation you are not given to creativity, you will struggle very hard to succeed.
The world is dynamic, systems are changing, processes are changing, technology is changing; human preferences keep changing and these changes are occurring very fast.
However, with new developments come new problems, new complexities and new opportunities. Societal dynamics and evolution birth new and sometimes complex problems. These problems are both organic and inorganic, in other words it can be about people or things.
For example the creation of the internet gave rise to cybercrimes. The growth of information technology and easy access to information by many people is one of the factors fuelling rebellion and terrorism globally.
Success is the ability to set goals and accomplish them. Success is the ability to apply action to a predetermined course and accomplish the desired outcome. Success is simply when you achieve what you want.
Success is as varied as we are. Success is not universal in manifestation, it's as unique as we are unique in our persons. This implies your success is not my success and my success is not your success. My own success would depend on my dreams, vision, ambition, action and results. If these are different from yours, then my success cannot be same as yours.
Using money as a denominator, success for me may be 10 million naira net worth by year end. And for some other person, 10 million naira bank balance by the end of this year is utter failure and a cause to be worried. So even if it's the same interest, we still vary in our ambition and definition of success.
Dear friend, what is your definition of success? What is success to you? Without a well-defined personal success notion, you'll become confused in life and will lack a required sense of direction.
Your success journey begins with having a personal vision and a dream.
It's only natural for us humans to eventually disdain and criticise anything we can't understand, contain, comprehend or apprehend.
For example, it's natural for a man to after some time, begin to criticise and disdain a lady he's been wooing for a very long time without success. It's also natural for someone to begin to speak ill of an organisation he's been seeking employment into for a very long time without success. It's also normal to disdain travelling to a country that has denied you visa again and again without any good reason.
Its natural as humans to start speaking ill and criticising anything we wanted initially but couldn't get eventually.
Dear friends, I've never come across a young child or even a teenager that wants to turn out a poor adult in life. I've never met a teenager who subscribes to poverty as a preferred way of life. Every young person I know looks forward to a very rich and successful financial future. They want good cars, beautiful homes, lovely clothes, exciting travels and a very rich and respectable life of financial abundance. No young person wants to live a life of poverty or penury.
However, after trying so hard and working so hard, if things don't align with their expectations and the money appears to be eluding them as adults, they then change their perspective and opinion about becoming rich, they begin to criticise and even condemn the pursuit of riches and the rich in general.
Of a truth times are difficult economically. The gist is everywhere, the evidence is everywhere. The economic recession is no longer news. Everybody knows we're officially in a recession.
In the city, in the fields, rural and urban areas, male female, young and old everybody is talking about the recession. Many are complaining and lamenting and sharing their strong opinions about what really is the cause, who is really responsible and who can and should fix the problem.
Devastating is the effect of the recession that we're daily experiencing back to back news of untold hardship, hunger, job cuts, several months of unpaid salaries and even suicide attempts. Many people have taken their own lives simply because they couldn't stand the pressure of enduring these hard times.
Truth be told, yes there is a recession, there's economic hardship but I assure you the impact and intensity varies from person to person. The true impact of this economic crisis varies from person to person, from location to location and from business to business.
The uniqueness of our individual lives, businesses, vocation and responsibilities would naturally influence how these hard times would affect us.
Dear friend, you see, your mind is a very complex and tricky system, how you program your mind can actually enrich or diminish your emotional and psychological wellbeing even in this season.
Today is a new day, we get up and we're off to work again. This is our life, this is life; we are creatures of productivity. We manage the earth, we rule the world, the responsibility of keeping all things running effectively is placed on mankind, and as a human being you must take responsibility, if not, you'll not benefit from the system.
It's not like the jungle or the animal kingdom where stronger animals prey on and kill the weaker ones to stay alive, no, in this human kingdom, you must earn a living, there are rules and you must live by these rules. That's what civilisation is all about.
You want to earn a living, live a good life, pay your bills and accomplish good dreams? You must work within the matrix of the worlds system to benefit.
Waking up every weekday and going to create value in exchange for a good reward is the pattern of our lives; at least most of us. This is what we call career. Your career is the venture and the opportunity to earn a living through service and performance.
Truth is, many times as mankind we get tired, frustrated and discouraged in life. When we work pretty hard and we feel we're not enjoying commensurate reward for our efforts, we become discouraged.
The frequency of change and dynamics as currently obtainable in this century is extremely fast and daunting. Before getting adjusted to something new, a better and higher version or degree is out. Take a look around you and you’ll observe it cuts across almost every area of our lives, from science to technology, fashion, music, movies, information, education, sports, discoveries, inventions, constitutions, policies, morals and belief systems.
Check out even your phones, computers, cars, TV sets and the likes; your latest model in a few, years, months or even weeks has become an old model. A reigning song or music artiste in a few months is no longer topping the chart.
New movies breaking records on budget, production, directing and performance make recent ones look like child’s play.
Everyone loves a great life. We all want to be successful and great. We want to achieve our dreams, goal and purposes. We don't want to lag behind colleagues and contemporaries in life, we want to be comfortable, secured; relevant and respected. We want a good life, at least everyone I know does, but not everyone is actually experiencing a great life; in fact more people are struggling in life than succeeding.
We are daily inspired, encouraged, motivated and told the naked truth about the need to succeed, we're told the secrets and ways to success, many of us know the secrets and principles by heart, in fact some of us have taught other people one-on-one or in groups about the need and the principles of success, but ironically, we are also struggling in life.
We're struggling with our finances, our relationships, our marriages; our careers our behaviours and other critical aspects of our lives.
We have the answers, we have the knowledge, we see the opportunities and guess what, we have the choice, we know what is right and needful; and we know what is destructive and unnecessary. Yet were unable to do anything about our lives and our situations.
In a conversation with a young teenager recently I listened as with excitement she began to share with me her dreams, vision and ambition in life.
She talked about her plans and dreams regarding finance, relationship, marriage, and career success. She was very excited as she continued to speak; she began to reel out all her plans, the ideas, the step by step approach to accomplishing all she wants; the considerations and well thought out strategy and with her failure wasn't an option.
I liked her spirit and attitude to life. I was more than willing to encourage her, most teenagers aren't that thoughtful these days; they are mostly distracted by fun and entertainment, not too many of them have solid dreams, so coming across this one with a dream, I was delighted.
However, as she shared her thoughts, I had so many questions around what ifs, but I didn't say, I didn't want to quell her fire, I believed she would grow stronger as she matures to handle all my concerns.
She had it all planned out; the year she would be done with secondary school and obtain admission into the university, the course she wants to study, the number of years she'll be in the university for, her year of graduation, her grades, the year of her master's program, the year she would conclude, the year she wants to get married, the kind of man she wants to marry-his profile, looks, qualifications and relevance, the kind of organization she wants to work with, her year of starting her own company and all she plans to accomplish as a business owner.
A rubber band never fulfils its purpose until it is stretched. Everyone loves to be comfortable. We hardly want to be disturbed, inconvenienced or moved. Once we become comfortable with a circumstance, process, situation or order we don't want to change. We want to remain like that because it's really easy to remain on the same spot.
The key drivers that would compel most employees to desire promotion and change in level are financial reward, power and control. Imagine a set up where hierarchy is not in place and the income is not determined by the level of responsibility, I assure you; no one would take on any new task or responsibility. If there's no benefit tied to any position in cash or power or control, I don't see anyone fascinated about taking up such roles.
For example why would I want to take on the role of a supervisor in a team if I won't get additional income and won't be in charge of the team or anybody? The additional responsibility as a supervisor then becomes a stress factor and not a promotion.
We look over the year and suddenly it's dawning on us that the last quarter of the year is already here. In another three months or there about we would be celebrating another new year. For some it could be an exciting feeling but I believe for the majority it may not be the case.
I begin to imagine this is usually the time many of us without verbalizing these thoughts begin to assess the year and ask questions about how the year has been so far.
We begin to remember the good, the bad and the ugly. Many begin to cast minds back to the start of the year and can't help but wonder where all the fire, the passion, the zeal and determination to make the year different went to.
Some would look over the months till now and realize it's just been another several months of routine; nothing special, nothing really new, nothing spectacular; a year as usual. Everything they've seen and experienced so far in the year are natural expectations; nothing out of this world.
Yes, another birthday celebrated, meaning what, food, clothes, shelter, regular bills paid, wake up go to the office, work through the weeks, get paid, settle bills and the routine goes on and on.
I keep checking and reading and affirming the fact that every outstanding and successful person through history at a point in time had to stand alone.
No matter how wise, how clever, how magnanimous, how generous, how kind and selfless, a point came in their lives when everyone turned against them and even their loved ones abandoned them.
Kings, queens, warriors, inventors, scientists, religious leaders, sportsmen, empire builders, social reformers and revolutionists at a point in time had to take a stand and go for something everyone even their most loyal followers thought was crazy, absurd, unacceptable or extreme.
I've not seen or read about a man or woman of worth that didn't have to go through an alone moment.
As critical as it is to have people around you to help you, support you, cheer you on and favour you, a time will come when you would have to insist and stand for something and everyone else would refuse to stand with you.
Any great person willing to go very far must realise the need to make that important choice of standing by your conviction even when no one else believes with you.
Marriage is a beautiful experience at the level of thought. The thought of a man and a woman in love sharing the rest of their lives together is indeed a pleasurable experience. Living together, talking together, laughing together, sharing together, sleeping together, being excited and thrilled about each other is an experience everyone should love to have and enjoy. Marriage can really be appealing at the point of just thinking about it.
However, the responsibility, hurt, disappointment, sacrifice, tolerance and pressure that comes with marriage can sometimes be so overwhelming that some people have had to quit their marriage. Marriage as exciting and thrilling as it appears can be very demanding and at times outright frustrating. It takes maturity, endurance, humility, patience and grace to succeed in marriage.
Many of us are born with great potentials and ability to fulfil all our dreams and desires. At childhood we keep dreaming and imagining our future; bright, beautiful and full of success. We don't see, anticipate, envisage failure of any sort, we are super convinced we would accomplish all our dreams and expectations.
I do hear and see so many children in primary school today still proudly proclaim and declare their dreams, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be an astronaut, I want to be an engineer, I want to be a business man goes all their dreams, and they say it with so much delight and positivity.
The parents look at these kids and somewhere in their minds they can only hope and pray these dreams come true for their kids. Because you see for many of these parents, they used to have such dreams too but today, their reality is so very different from the dreams they had.
All things being equal there is no way at least the majority wouldn't be living in their dreams today, but in the real world, things are never equal.
From Christ Society International Outreach under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
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