Frankly Speaking Blog
When you decide to pursue your vision and chase your purpose, it confers on you the responsibility of leadership. As the vision carrier you can hardly achieve your dreams without the support and helping hand of people around you. At times however, people come into your life and join in the building and development of that dream. They demonstrate a lot of passion and commitment, they become reliable, trust worthy, dependable and loyal. But all of a sudden, these people can just decide it's time to move on. It may even be a personal decision that has nothing to do with you.
Many times committed, passionate and loyal vision supporters become difficult to control and manage because of that sense of ownership they've develop over time. Many vision supporters find it difficult to give their all and still be humble enough to submit totally to the owner of the vision. They frequently and conveniently challenge the decisions and direction of the leader. Dear leader, if such a strong supporter wants to quit, let them quit. It can be painful and somewhat emotional, still, let them go. If you let them blackmail you, arm twist you and force you to compromise on your dreams, they will eventually derail you and still leave when everything crumbles. Dear leader, if that great supporter wants to go, let him go.
So it was another morning last Monday and I was out early that morning. And as I drove around the beautiful city of Lagos, I paid attention to very many people on their way to work. Many were by the roadside waiting to board a vehicle, many were in commercial buses and taxi cabs, some were in their company buses and very many were in private cars all on their way to work or place of business.
I paid attention to all these people, I peered at their faces and observed their body language and believe me, it wasn't an encouraging observation. Nearly everyone looked very tired and unhappy. Though it was the start of a brand new working week, everyone looked very tired and overworked. No one appeared excited, motivated, inspired or happy to be on their way to work. Nearly everyone looked very tired. Some were even asleep in the cars and the ones awake were lost in thought and had this worried and distressed expression on their faces.
Lagos, a beautiful contemporary city of style, class and taste with great aquatic splendour, strong enough to inspire anyone; but the residents didn't look inspired, motivated or happy to live in such a wonderful city last Monday morning. Most people looked very tired, stressed and uninspired.
Tired on a Monday morning? Why? Why are we tired after a weekend? Hmmn.
This got me thinking and I figured many may perhaps be tired because they are working very hard, most people are working non-stop, most people are working round the clock, but the big question is where is the result of this hard work, where is the evidence?
Organisations become very successful and rich because they plan for success, profit and growth. Every year, the leadership and management of every progressive business will sit down and plan the strategy for growth, progress and profitability for their business. If they fail to do this, the business will soon die. The reason why they do this is because it's been proven over time as a wise behaviour that works.
Success and profit in life is hardly accidental, it must be planned and deliberately executed. This is how businesses grow and earn billions of dollars annually, hence become respected and valued worldwide. Successful businesses plan for success.
The same principle of planning for profit business organisations apply to become multibillion dollar worth is the same principle you need as a person to become a multibillionaire. Your personal success, profiting and growth must be planned if you want to be great and successful in life. If it works for business enterprises, it will definitely work for you as an individual.
Becoming a billionaire in life is very easy if you have your personal plans for success, profit and healthy growth into billions. Unfortunately, many of us have no personal plans, strategy or ambition for multibillion dollar successes. We mostly think of survival and that's all we get – survival. Many of us can never become legitimate billionaires not because it's impossible but because we cannot attract into our lives what we don't think about, plan for and work for in this life.
Many of us have experienced losses in our lives in time past. We've lost very precious things, people, relationships and opportunities. Many of us can even now begin to remember that good friend that we lost, relationships that we lost, marriages that we lost, jobs that we lost, businesses that we lost, positions that we lost and good feelings we can't connect with any longer.
Many of us, by the reason of some tough things we went through have lost our confidence, our pride, our self-esteem and our happiness. Many of us have lost many valuable things in time past in our lives.
Dear friend, truth is, your ability to obtain and retain most things in your life is not about luck or good fortune but personality. If you really think about it, most of the things you gained and lost in your life must have been a matter of coincidence and happenstance.
Being right is very important to your present and future success as an individual, do you do the right things or the easier stuff? Let's talk about that this morning; that way that seems right.
A truth that some of us Nigerians are disregarding today is that our current pressures and challenges as a nation is not a cause, but a consequence of many years of mistakes, mismanagement, wrong choices, irresponsibility and bad behaviours.
Today, we are paying the price of not doing things the right way and seeking purely after pleasure and easier ways out, not disciplined and proper ways of doing things.
In this life, no matter how prolonged a season of wrong doing, one day we shall be confronted with the consequences of our choices.
Collectively and as individuals, many of us are paying the price of the past and we are actually not victims of the current as many people insinuate.
One development I'm so pleased with though is the alertness of the electorate, Nigerians have woken up suddenly and they are beginning to question and interrogate the activities and policies of the elected, it's a sign of growing democracy.
One of the members of my mentoring and live class brought her friend to me for counselling during one of our meetings. A very good looking young lady in her late twenties, definitely not 30, a chartered accountant working with a leading multinational. She’s done very well for herself judging by the look of her skin, the cost of her hair extension, her outfit, shoes and jewellery. Her car keys revealed she drove one of the latest Japanese brand SUVs, and as we began to talk this became clearer as she actually lives in her own apartment in an exquisite location on the island and she’s catering for two of her younger siblings living with her who are undergraduates at expensive private universities.
Her friend, a member of my life class actually brought her for counselling because this beautiful, upwardly mobile twenty something year old lady is a victim of physical abuse courtesy her boyfriend, who’s about 10 years older than she is.
This boyfriend, has no job, no income and no direction in life. He has moved into her apartment also and she practically pays for everything he wants. On top of this ridiculous and unfair situation, this so called boyfriend is quick to hit her at the drop of a hat. He is very aggressive and abusive.
Today, many of us are running helter skelter, up and down, back and forth in search of means for survival. We work really hard, hustling everyday just to make enough cash to pay our bills.
Basic needs is our entire commitment, we need a roof over our heads, food in our stomach, clothes on our back, comfortable means of transportation, communication and of course education.
We want to provide for ourselves, our families and possibly extended relatives. We also covet social relevance, we want to belong to a group of friends and associates with whom we share many views in life, culture, religion and survival – we seek social acceptance and we want to be loved and admired by all. These factors drive us daily as we go on with our lives.
These have become goals and priorities for many and so long as we're able to cope and maintain, we feel all is well.
The psychologist, Abraham Maslow in his theory of Man's hierarchy of needs stated the first three needs as physiological needs – that's food, clothes and shelter, the next is safety and security, then love and the desire to belong.
For as many as are willing to embrace the truth about humanity and life in general, you would agree with me that the spirit realm is very real and most of what we see in the physical are matters already concluded and firmed up in the spiritual.
Mankind is essentially a spiritual being, possessing a soul and living in a body. Without your spirit, your soul cannot function and without your spirit, your body becomes lifeless no matter how healthy every part of your physical body is.
The spirit drives the physical, the spirit controls the physical; the spirit realm determines the outcomes in our physical realm. Almost all religions believe, subscribe and have many times proven the existence and exciting intervention of the spirit realm in our physical or material realm. The spirit realm is real and extremely active. The invisible controls the visible, what is unseen determines that which is seen.
Against this backdrop, it is therefore wisdom to pay attention to the realm of the spirit. You must endeavour to connect and have an understanding of what may be going on in the spirit realm. This may not really require spiritual consultations or getting spiritual leaders to make inquiries for you, no, it's a matter of observing the times and from what you see, you'll have a clue regarding the direction of life in our realm based on the program and activities initiated by the spirit realm.
Leadership like I'd always say is not just about occupying a superior position of power or authority. It's possible to occupy such positions and not be able to lead anyone.
It's about the capacity to influence others to collaborate with you without force or coercion in the pursuit and accomplishment of specified tasks, objectives or a vision.
It's the ability to sacrifice and inspire sacrifice from supporters and followers for the purpose of achieving a pre-determined aim.
Leadership is not an option but a compulsory attribute for anyone interested in succeeding in this life.
No one can actually make it alone through life, hence, your ability to inspire and influence all the people you need through your life's journey to support and contribute to accomplishing your personal vision and goals is leadership.
Its quite unfortunate that many of us as a result of disappointments, setbacks and past failures have relinquished the charge of our lives to the society, environment, friends and family or providence.
Hitherto, you probably had great expectations in life, made attempts at some exciting feats, pursued some goals and ambitions and failed. Some of us failed some important exams, were not particularly exceptional in academics, some failed in relationships, marriage, health and total wellbeing. Some of us had habits and behaviours that embarrassed us, we suffered reproach and rejection. Some of us were weak in mind and body. Some of us suffered immense poverty, deprivation and lack. Some were victims of verbal and physical abuse, injustice, discrimination and pain. Some have been vandalised and violated by criminals, bullies and oppressors. Some betrayed by loved ones including siblings and parents. Some cheated, abused and disappointed by role models, mentors and even religious leaders. Some of us have hurt ourselves; disappointed ourselves, and today find it difficult forgiving ourselves. Some of us find it difficult to recover from the demise of a loved one, a broken relationship, separation or divorce. Some of us are still living with the hurt of a sickly child, infidelity and infertility.
Many times as a brand strategist I have many people approach me seeking for my opinion about their product or services. Many, who have new products or service they'd like to introduce bring it to me first; wanting to know what I think before they push into the market.
In fact some establishments I consult for also share ideas of product reinvention or brand extension with me, wanting to know what I feel or think about it and most of the time, I find a fault with their opinion and understanding of quality.
Ladies and gentlemen, quality in English language is not the same as quality in business language. In English language, quality is how good or bad something is. It's that simple. In business, it's somewhat more than that.
You see, every time we talk about quality, it is always a function of comparison or relativity. Quality as an abstract noun would always address maters of standards. Quality is the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something.
As a career coach, after several counselling sessions I have come to observe many of us are not introspective or retrospective in many matters. Many of us don't have solitary moments when we set out time alone to be with ourselves and think about our lives.
Most of the time our mental energy is channelled into solving problems, overcoming challenges, meditating on fear, opposition and difficulties, catching fun and rarely do we sincerely think about our lives, the future so as to avoid problems.
It's amazing how many of us just want the support and endorsement of others to do something we know very well has negative consequences. We see danger, we see disappointments, we see frustration and uncertainty in the future but just because at that point it's something we feel like doing, we just get one or two persons to tell us we're making the right decision and we go for it, fully aware in our consciences we are setting ourselves up for real problems.
For example you know the guy is not your type but you desperately stick with him all because you want people to know you're in a relationship and you probably want to marry on time; two months after the wedding however, you're full of regret as the real guy for you would then show up; but it's too late.
Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. What your life is today is an indication of your attitude and disposition to fear. Every human being is born with unlimited potential and capacity for greatness. There is nothing humanly possible that you cannot do or accomplish.
There is no height you cannot attain and no great limits you cannot cross. No matter how great or otherwise your life is today my friend, your number one opposition and limitation is fear.
Fearless people rule and conquer the world. The courageous rule over the fearful. Perhaps, the main reason Europeans came to Africa, dominated and colonised the people for several centuries is simply because they were not afraid to travel across the treacherous ocean to a strange and mysterious land and people to dominate it but we, as Africans lacked the courage to do the same. Africans are generally fearful. Africans don't want to die. Laughs.
The bold make discoveries, access secrets and have superior answers because they are not afraid to take risks and are adventurous. Dominion in life is for the courageous. The fearful will always serve the vision and purpose of the courageous.
Do you realise most of us in reality grossly underrate our true power and potential as human beings? We grossly underutilise our true capacities and capabilities. Hardly do we take the time to really conduct a study on humans and what humans are truly capable of. Perhaps this study may not even be necessary, all we need do is take a look around and see all the powerful and complex inventions mankind has created and developed over time and you'll surely agree that yes, the mind of mankind is truly the most powerful force on earth.
Dear friend, all men are created equal, the differences in our results is basically a function of how much we learn, how much we know, how committed we are and how far we're willing to go in life. The inventors of the aeroplane, warships, computers, television, cell phones, spaceships and powerful earth moving machines are normal human beings just like you. The founders of the biggest businesses in the world with transgenerational growth success are normal human beings like you. The only difference however, is in what you choose to learn, what you choose to know, what you choose to believe, what you choose to do and your courage to follow through.
The greatest enemy to growth in life is easier choices. The fact that we have the power of choice as mankind has actually worked against many of us such that when we have to make a choice or decision, we decide or prefer to go for easier choices not the best choices.
The configuration of life is to return so much to people that give so much and to return scantily to those who give very little to anything they do in life.
Life is rules, what you sow is what you reap. Many however don't sow well, sow correctly or sow right in life.
Ladies and gentlemen, life is not easy. To tow the easiest part in life is to miss out big time on life. Check out little children, I mean babies learning to walk, Life wouldn't say because they are babies and too young to understand, the process of learning to stand and walk should be easy or automatic. No way, life would ensure even those little babies; young as they are, learn to stand and walk by paying the price. A little child learning to walk will fall several times on its butt.
From Christ Society International Outreach under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
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