Frankly Speaking Blog
Its quite unfortunate that many of us as a result of disappointments, setbacks and past failures have relinquished the charge of our lives to the society, environment, friends and family or providence.
Hitherto, you probably had great expectations in life, made attempts at some exciting feats, pursued some goals and ambitions and failed. Some of us failed some important exams, were not particularly exceptional in academics, some failed in relationships, marriage, health and total wellbeing. Some of us had habits and behaviours that embarrassed us, we suffered reproach and rejection. Some of us were weak in mind and body. Some of us suffered immense poverty, deprivation and lack. Some were victims of verbal and physical abuse, injustice, discrimination and pain. Some have been vandalised and violated by criminals, bullies and oppressors. Some betrayed by loved ones including siblings and parents. Some cheated, abused and disappointed by role models, mentors and even religious leaders. Some of us have hurt ourselves; disappointed ourselves, and today find it difficult forgiving ourselves. Some of us find it difficult to recover from the demise of a loved one, a broken relationship, separation or divorce. Some of us are still living with the hurt of a sickly child, infidelity and infertility.
Many times as a brand strategist I have many people approach me seeking for my opinion about their product or services. Many, who have new products or service they'd like to introduce bring it to me first; wanting to know what I think before they push into the market.
In fact some establishments I consult for also share ideas of product reinvention or brand extension with me, wanting to know what I feel or think about it and most of the time, I find a fault with their opinion and understanding of quality.
Ladies and gentlemen, quality in English language is not the same as quality in business language. In English language, quality is how good or bad something is. It's that simple. In business, it's somewhat more than that.
You see, every time we talk about quality, it is always a function of comparison or relativity. Quality as an abstract noun would always address maters of standards. Quality is the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something.
As a career coach, after several counselling sessions I have come to observe many of us are not introspective or retrospective in many matters. Many of us don't have solitary moments when we set out time alone to be with ourselves and think about our lives.
Most of the time our mental energy is channelled into solving problems, overcoming challenges, meditating on fear, opposition and difficulties, catching fun and rarely do we sincerely think about our lives, the future so as to avoid problems.
It's amazing how many of us just want the support and endorsement of others to do something we know very well has negative consequences. We see danger, we see disappointments, we see frustration and uncertainty in the future but just because at that point it's something we feel like doing, we just get one or two persons to tell us we're making the right decision and we go for it, fully aware in our consciences we are setting ourselves up for real problems.
For example you know the guy is not your type but you desperately stick with him all because you want people to know you're in a relationship and you probably want to marry on time; two months after the wedding however, you're full of regret as the real guy for you would then show up; but it's too late.
Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. What your life is today is an indication of your attitude and disposition to fear. Every human being is born with unlimited potential and capacity for greatness. There is nothing humanly possible that you cannot do or accomplish.
There is no height you cannot attain and no great limits you cannot cross. No matter how great or otherwise your life is today my friend, your number one opposition and limitation is fear.
Fearless people rule and conquer the world. The courageous rule over the fearful. Perhaps, the main reason Europeans came to Africa, dominated and colonised the people for several centuries is simply because they were not afraid to travel across the treacherous ocean to a strange and mysterious land and people to dominate it but we, as Africans lacked the courage to do the same. Africans are generally fearful. Africans don't want to die. Laughs.
The bold make discoveries, access secrets and have superior answers because they are not afraid to take risks and are adventurous. Dominion in life is for the courageous. The fearful will always serve the vision and purpose of the courageous.
Do you realise most of us in reality grossly underrate our true power and potential as human beings? We grossly underutilise our true capacities and capabilities. Hardly do we take the time to really conduct a study on humans and what humans are truly capable of. Perhaps this study may not even be necessary, all we need do is take a look around and see all the powerful and complex inventions mankind has created and developed over time and you'll surely agree that yes, the mind of mankind is truly the most powerful force on earth.
Dear friend, all men are created equal, the differences in our results is basically a function of how much we learn, how much we know, how committed we are and how far we're willing to go in life. The inventors of the aeroplane, warships, computers, television, cell phones, spaceships and powerful earth moving machines are normal human beings just like you. The founders of the biggest businesses in the world with transgenerational growth success are normal human beings like you. The only difference however, is in what you choose to learn, what you choose to know, what you choose to believe, what you choose to do and your courage to follow through.
The greatest enemy to growth in life is easier choices. The fact that we have the power of choice as mankind has actually worked against many of us such that when we have to make a choice or decision, we decide or prefer to go for easier choices not the best choices.
The configuration of life is to return so much to people that give so much and to return scantily to those who give very little to anything they do in life.
Life is rules, what you sow is what you reap. Many however don't sow well, sow correctly or sow right in life.
Ladies and gentlemen, life is not easy. To tow the easiest part in life is to miss out big time on life. Check out little children, I mean babies learning to walk, Life wouldn't say because they are babies and too young to understand, the process of learning to stand and walk should be easy or automatic. No way, life would ensure even those little babies; young as they are, learn to stand and walk by paying the price. A little child learning to walk will fall several times on its butt.
There are too many people who are very hardworking, intelligent, up and doing, connected and well positioned to enjoy major and frequent positive transformations in their lives but unfortunately, it is not happening.
There are even some who assume where they are at currently is a great achievement not knowing they have much more than what it takes to climb unto higher levels in life and be greater and become more glorious.
Truth is, too many of us have buried or underutilised our potentials hence, our world is deprived of all we truly have the capacity to do and accomplish.
We have many managers still working as messengers, many bank owners still working as branch managers, many media house owners still working as news presenters and on air personalities, many world class entrepreneurs still working as employees, many great people still functioning as mediocre, small timers and fringe players in the scheme of life.
These people are not very well respected, revered, appreciated, valued or honoured, despite the fact they have everything it takes to be the most valuable and respected person in their communities, their nation and even the world. These are brilliant, intelligent, hardworking, well informed, exposed and outgoing people living less than glowing lives, why, they simply lack the will to do.
Very many of us today are not quite happy or satisfied with our results in life. We do not like how we live, we don't like the quality of our live styles, we don't like what we earn, we don't like where we live and we are generally frustrated by our need gaps and insufficiencies in life.
We increase the intensity of our labour and the number of hours of labour. Yet it appears the more we work, the tougher things get. Many of us sacrifice our time of rest, time of socialising, time with our families, time of service to God and even time of sleep for work and harder labour, but with all the sacrifice, things don't appear to be getting better.
We look around and observe other people who seem not to be working as hard but living better lives and we become confused, discouraged and at times envious and wonder what is wrong with us
Are you upset about something? Has someone done something really painful and you're very angry about it and you're finding it difficult to let it go? Let's share on this today. This one, I've titled, the bait of offence.
Every human being has got emotions. Our soul comprises our mind will and emotions. Our emotions is simply the way we feel about things. We all have positive and negative emotions.
Our emotional reaction to issues and situations in life is not standard across all humans, emotional reactions are subjective. The way you react to a situation can be quite different from the way I react to the same situation. This is mostly a consequence of nature, nurture and various experiences in life.
Some people by nature are soft emotionally. They are easily moved and touched by people, situations and events. Things get to them easily, for most people like this, it's mostly a function of nature.
To excel in life, speed is critical, the ability to move and take advantage of opportunities quickly is critical to your strategy. Today let's talk about speed, this one is titled, move quickly.
It is very natural in your journey towards success to face challenges. It is very natural to be discouraged, distressed, disappointed and dismayed. You will plan, anticipate, strategize and work hard only to be rewarded with failure and disappointment. You will do all you should, consult with the very best and experienced, initiate the best ideas and possibilities and everything would come down crumbling like a pack of cards.
Situations would fail you, circumstances would oppose you, people would betray you, partners will oppose you, investors would change their minds, helpers will withdraw their support and even friends, family, loved oneS and the people you labour for and feed would criticize you and complain.
Everyone at a point would appear to be against you, everyone would become selfish, ungrateful and unloving. You will really feel rejected, unappreciated, low and out. You would feel like a failure, a non-achiever and would wonder if you're cursed.
Dominion in life comes through victories and you can't enjoy victories without battles. Today let's talk about how to win. This one I've titled your first victory.
The world by nature is designed in such a way that humans and other creatures must of a necessity fight and contend for their needs and wants. Nothing in life is actually free. You must pay a price or fight to get what you want.
Your fight is not necessarily against other people, your fight is against life situations. If you don't fight for what you want in this life, life wouldn't release it to you. Even what is already yours will be lost if you don't fight to keep it, life would take it away from you cheaply.
This fight that I'm talking about is not physical. It's actually the battle of your soul against the attacks of life. Whether you want to fight or not, life will fight you, situations would attack you and occasions would challenge you over your rights, your place and your possessions.
If you refuse to fight back in life, you'll lose everything and fail in life. Life, as it were is a series of unending battles.
Many of us today are flustered, grumpy and unhappy about our lives simply because we are perplexed and confounded in life. Today, let's talk about how to have effective coordination of our lives.
As adults it can be quite difficult balancing effectively the various critical aspects of our lives without sacrificing one or two for another. This is simply because too many areas of our lives demand for attention at the same time. Our husbands, our wives, our children, our parents, our friends, our associates, our bosses, our customers and so many other people need us to pay them quality attention.
Also our personal vision, our dreams, our ambition, our careers, our businesses, personal growth and even spiritual wellbeing require enough attention for us to have a well-rounded life.
Balancing all these and winning in all these areas within the constraints of 24 hours a day is the reason most of us are not very happy, it's the reason many are agitated, cranky and irritable.
We all want to succeed in life, we all want to progress in life, we all want to do very well in life. This desire however, is predicated on our ability to do very well in these various areas of our lives and with these very many people in our lives.
Many today have no deliberate grip or control over their lives. Many don't even understand the “how” of being in charge of their own lives. Many have never experienced a season when they are absolutely in charge of themselves. Many more have given up the possibility of being in charge of their own decisions, directions and destination in life.
Dear friend, your life is expressed and measured based on time. As the clock keeps ticking, your life keeps running and gradually ebbing away.
To be in charge of your life, is to be in charge of your time. To be in charge of your time is having the power to determine and chose what you do at every point in time in your life.
A situation where no one but you determines what you want to do with every day and every hour is really being in charge and control of your life.
As a child or a teenager when you still needed to be taught and guided by your parents and/or caregivers, yes its appropriate you submit to them even when you disagree with some of their rules and instructions, but immediately you attain adulthood, wherein you can now make your decisions and choices, your number one struggle should be to liberate yourself from every other force or system that has the power to limit you, restrict you, contain you and control you.
I'm not advocating rebellion or lack of submission, no, what I'm promoting this morning is the need to apprehend the power to make your own decisions, your power to choose and be free from controlling forces.
A life where other people and other things determine what you do, how you do it, how you live, where you live and how far you can go per time is a life out of your own control.
Again I saw it on social media, a young man on bed in the hospital all wired to a medical equipment, trying to survive and appealing to the general public to please help keep him alive. He was in urgent need of kidney transplant, and the whole treatment would cost about six million naira. Hence, the passionate appeal to well-meaning Nigerians and kind hearted people to please donate and support him by paying cash into a specified bank account.
I read through, felt really sorry for the man and shook my head in lamentation. It's not the first, second or third of such appeal I would come across in the last one year or so.
People appealing to the general public to help save lives of fellow Nigerians who have suddenly taken ill and are in dire need of urgent medical attention, if not they may die. How much? Six million, just six million naira. Hmmn
I know very many Nigerians who have worked very hard and made money and wouldn't even flinch paying six million to save this man's life.
I'm not talking about those who stole public funds, stole from their employers or indulged in crime to make money, no, I'm talking about responsible, hardworking and honest Nigerians who worked for their money and indeed can afford to give the whole six million without breaking a sweat.
Employment as a matter of fact, is a business transaction where you sell your knowledge and ability to an organization for an agreed sum of money called salary; payable every month-end or as agreed.
The employer is the buyer, the employee is the seller, the salary is the price and the knowledge, skills and abilities is the product or better still, service in consideration. The industry is the market.
As an employee, the longer you are in your industry, the more valuable you can become. If you're a good ‘brand' your value will continue to appreciate and the demand for you will increase. More different employers, will come after you and try to purchase your skills - offering you higher compensation, salaries and perks.
From Christ Society International Outreach under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
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