• Muyiwa Afolabi
  • Thu, 19 November, 2015 05:31:16 PM

Falling in love with someone you can't have

 

In a perfect world we would only ever fall in love with a person who would reciprocate. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world and for this reason we often tend to fall in love with people who are unavailable to us, either emotionally or for some other reason. There are a million reasons why a person might not be available to us and no matter what the reason is the outcome is usually the same, walking away with a broken heart. But, is there a way to deal with something like this and make it a bit easier on yourself? Some people believe there is and others just believe that you must go through your heartaches and see them through to the end. However, there are some ways that you can avoid situations in which you may fall in love with a person you cannot have.

Learn to Remove Yourself From Situations Fast

This is one very effective way to avoid having your feelings hurt. You can usually tell when you are becoming attracted to someone right away. If the object of your affection happens to be married or attached to your best friend then the best thing for you to do is to avoid this person like the plague until you have overcome whatever desires you may be feeling. This is not an easy thing to do because human nature tells us to go after what we want regardless of the price we will have to pay. However, this is also what separates us from other animals. We, unlike wild animals can determine the difference between right and wrong and if something feels wrong then we must use our morals and values to remove ourselves from the situation no matter how painful it may be at first. Keep in mind that the deeper you get into a situation the harder it will be to walk away from. For this reason you should run at the first sign of trouble, so to speak.

 

Do Not Reveal Your Feelings

If you know that a person is not available because he or she is either married or in a relationship with another person, it will not be a good idea to open up a can of worms by revealing your feelings. Why complicate matters further? Yes there is a good possibility that the person you have your eye on will return your feelings but do you really want to be the person who breaks up a relationship? Chances are if you take some time to consider this question you will take the high road. It is very messy getting involved with someone who is already involved with another person. Not only will this cause another person to feel heartache but you must always remember that the way you obtained your significant other could be the same way that you lose him or her. This means that if you got your lover by stealing him/her from another person then you may as well count on him/her leaving you one day for another person because people usually repeat the same patterns. Is this something that you want to live with? By keeping your feelings to yourself you will be able to avoid temptation and walk away with more ease.

 

You Cannot Make a Person Return Your Feelings

People love who they love and you cannot make a person feel something that he/she is not feeling. Either a person wants to be with you or he/she does not. There is usually no middle ground where love is concerned. If you have set your sights on a person who has made it clear to you that he/she does not share your feelings then you should walk away from that situation right away and move onto something that is meant for you. Everyone has someone out there for them and the key is in knowing the difference between shared love and one sided love. There are no tactics and tricks when it comes to matters of the heart. No matter how much you may read on the subject from advice columns and internet sites, you can forget about it. If a person does not want you then move on to the next person and cut your losses before you find yourself living an emotional nightmare.

 

Geographical Cures

In some cases you may be in so much turmoil over a person that you might need to consider drastic measures such as picking up and leaving the entire area in order to put distance between you and the one you love. A geographical cure does not work well for things like drug addiction or other psychological problems but when it comes to removing yourself from the presence of a person who you are in love with but cannot have, this is an excellent solution. Even if your move is just temporary, distance and time have been known to work wonders together in healing a broken heart. Chances are when you get to your destination it won't be long before someone else comes along to help you forget the person you have been pining over.

The truth of the matter is falling in love with someone you cannot have is going to be hard on you no matter what you do to try and remedy the situation. However, the most important thing to remember is that feelings do fade with time and if you can remain strong and exercise a little bit of will power then you will get through the experience. In fact, you can consider situations like this as learning experiences. Some say there is no pain like that of a broken heart and most of us know this to be true. Fortunately, this is also the type of pain that can heal with minimal scars if we just focus on ourselves and doing what is best for us. Not to worry because what typically happens is that the moment you stop looking for your soul mate is the moment he or she flies into your life.

 

BY COLLEEN CRAWFORD

4 Comments

  1. Thanks for the advice,you've really open my eyes too see further 

  2. I love this writeup. Well said...

  3. nice piece worth listening to. 

  4. My.eye has opened now you have saved. Me. A lot of stress happy to read your sturfs

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