As mankind we do interact, I mean it's natural for us to mix, talk, share, brainstorm, relate and do things together. That's what co existing is all about. No one can live alone without contacting or connecting with anyone else; it's absolutely impossible, we are not wired like that as humans; hence interaction is a basic way of life.
Also we are creatures with emotions, we have feelings; we express feelings, both negative and positive. We, on many occasions react based on how we feel. We make choices and decisions based on how we feel. In fact many times our lives are patterned more after sentiments and emotional direction than objectivity and reality.
Many relationships today still linger purely on emotions and sentiments; we get attached to people, environments, certain routines and even work types based on how we feel.
Many love affairs today and gender involvement is powered more by feelings than objectivity; hence they say love is blind.
When people are asked or required to get diplomatic, emotions is the consideration, when people are asked to choose their words carefully, emotions are involved.
I have been thinking... I have been thinking and most times seriously I worry about the way most of us are, especially as it has to do with the way we treat ourselves as people and deal with one another.
Daily I see and experience all kinds of cruelty and injustice; I witness oppression and disrespect, hate, abuse, mistreatment, insensitivity, extortion, exploitation and pure wickedness by ironically a people most obsessed and fanatical with religion and activities of faith.
Many of us today pray for change, advocate change, clamor for change, we truly want to see change but sadly, we ourselves don’t want to change. We want to remain the way we are but long to see change in our society and environment.
If we as a people constitute and make up our communities and societies, it means real good change can only come with us as individuals changing individually. If we change as individuals then inevitably we will experience collective change and transformation.
Acquiring education and seeking for employment in an economy that is grossly undermanaged can present various challenges to employment seekers and career builders who reside and earn a living within such complex community structures.
Little wonder majority of graduates and employees today are totally unconcerned about building a career, all they need is a job.
I come across many young, talented and brilliant graduates as well as employees today who are looking for any kind of job purely for survival reasons.
They are looking for an employment, an occupation, something to do that will generate enough reward and revenue for them to meet needs and cater for their responsibilities.
The key word for many of them is survival. I need to survive, I have bills to pay, I have so many dependants what is hence important to me, is meeting all these obligations, so I don't mind working anywhere as long as they can pay me enough money to satisfy all these financial demands – goes the thinking.
I know how it is, I know what it takes to remain focused, determined and persistent in the face of very daunting obstacles.
Life indeed is not a bed of roses. Many of us experience more than our fair share of disappointments, let downs, ill luck and setbacks. We struggle, we fight we work tirelessly and keep hoping one day; someday, things would turn around and we shall begin to rejoice.
We keep hoping against hope, believing it will soon happen but rather than things getting better, the more it appears to be getting worse.
Many of us today have become very religious and devoted to the creator not sincerely out of our love for Him or fear of Him, but more because we just want him to help us, we need him to solve our numerous problems, He has become our only and last hope, without him, we are done for, hence, we keep trying to impress him through religion and spiritual service hoping he will one day, consider our effort and in quote ‘sacrifice in service and giving’ then compensate us. Oh dear.
I was leaving my office that Thursday evening when she suddenly rushed up to me as I was by the car. I was surprised to see her, she didn't tell me she was coming, usually she would have so I'd have been expecting her, this time she didn't and I wondered why.
Also 7pm wasn't a time I thought she would still be outside her home, her parents aren't like that, they are quite strict and conservative hence, wouldn't let their sixteen year old daughter be outside the home and in my side of town at that time of the day.
Looking at the face and anxious state of this sixteen years old girl got me initially worried, I thought something had happened to both or either of her parents. I know them quite well and my initial conclusion on why they would let her be at Ikeja instead of FESTAC her home was either domestic crisis or a major negative development.
I immediately got out from my car and held her by her upper arms to stabilise her as she took quick unsteady steps towards me. She was visibly shaken and very disturbed.
This journey through life is not a piece of cake. There are good times and bad times, we go through tough times and cool times, high times and low times. Life is unstable, unpredictable, challenging and dynamic.
What makes us happy today could bring us pain tomorrow. People that claim to love us today can turn around and stab us in the back tomorrow. A fantastic job or employment today can be extremely frustrating and exasperating tomorrow. A best friend today can be your worst enemy tomorrow. A nice time within the twinkle of an eye can become a nightmare. Sometimes we lose and sometimes we win. But as mankind we keep on keeping on; refusing to let our experiences and circumstances get in the way of our dreams, goals, ambitions and even responsibilities.
Our strengths are best tested not in good times but through the tough and challenging times. The seasons of rejection, deprivation, betrayal, loneliness, hurt, pain and even bereavement tests our strengths.
At times the pain could be so heavy you could feel the lump in your chest. At times you'd even want to cry and tears will fail to flow. Nothing would seem appealing, interesting, exciting and worth it.
Everyone wants to be comfortable, fulfilled and happy in life. No one would have an opportunity to succeed and would deliberately let it slip away. Hence it's natural for us to always be on the lookout for opportunities, advantages and benefits in all we do so as to ensure we are happy.
Life is full of pressure and demands due to responsibilities and expectations. The older you get the more you become responsible for yourself; meeting your own personal needs and making your own ends meet. Also with time you begin to take responsibility not only for yourself but others as well including maybe parents, siblings, relatives and most definitely your spouse and your children.
Expectations are also real based on norms and societal values. Education, family, career, religion, finance and dream achievements are personal expectations. Meaning at a certain age you expect to have finished school, at a certain age be married, at a certain age be gainfully employed making career progress at an expected pace.
Being on top of all these responsibilities and expectations to a large extent makes you happy and peaceful. And frankly speaking, that's what we all want – to be happy, peaceful and successful.
I keep checking and reading and affirming the fact that every outstanding and successful person through history at a point in time had to stand alone.
No matter how wise, how clever, how magnanimous, how generous, how kind and selfless, a point came in their lives when everyone turned against them and even their loved ones abandoned them.
Kings, queens, warriors, inventors, scientists, religious leaders, sportsmen, empire builders, social reformers and revolutionists at a point in time had to take a stand and go for something everyone even their most loyal followers thought was crazy, absurd, unacceptable or extreme.
I've not seen or read about a man or woman of worth that didn't have to go through an alone moment.
As critical as it is to have people around you to help you, support you, cheer you on and favour you, a time will come when you would have to insist and stand for something and everyone else would refuse to stand with you.
I'm convinced many of us today, irrespective of our status and experiences in life still believe there is something great about us. We believe we have required potentials and possibilities to become great, become significant and valuable in life.
We may have been through very difficult situations, experienced very disappointing circumstances; setbacks, betrayal, failures and losses; in spite of all, somewhere in our hearts, we just know and believe one day, the greatness we believe we carry will eventually manifest.
Little wonder, many who are completely lost today on how to manifest or connect with greatness have had to look on to divine intervention, hence they chase after spiritual consultants to help them discover their place and opportunities for breakthrough and prosperity.
Many of us believe in a better tomorrow; we see a future better than our today, but somehow we're not just sure how and when it will manifest, we are confused and quite anxious.
As glaring as it is, many times we still do not see the true essence of our actualities, our lives and our purposes. Though occasionally, we sit still in our alone moments, when we really come to ourselves, not overwhelmed by the pressures of life and we think deep, trying to find a meaning and a reason for our being and in such moments, many of us are not really pleased with our discoveries vis a vis our accomplishments.
Many of us occasionally switch on the self-assessment mode when something shocking or tragic happens like the sudden death of a loved one a relative or a familiar person. We also at times think about our lives when it's a new year or a birthday. We also reconsider our lives when someone we know and underrate accomplishes something noble, phenomenal and praise worthy. We admire them and then begin to measure our lives against theirs and many times we don't like what we realise.
Obviously, a natural tendency for human beings is to socialise. We are communal in nature, we mix, relate and interrelate with one another, we are not designed or wired to be independent, exclusive and private; we are not designed for loneliness.
We all know how it is. Raised in a society, a community where education is rife and very important. You have parents, relatives, leaders and role models who carry similar opinion about education, success and career.
Right from your younger days, you'd listened to these influential people, admired their successes, at times wished to be in their shoes and you listened very carefully to their counsel and advise on education, courses, career and how you could succeed as well in life.
Based on their counsel you got into school, became very committed and hardworking; never took your school work for granted. As much as you had fun in school, you knew when and how to draw the line. Your future; very important to toy with, and based on counsel and of course public perception you embarked on your life's journey in a particular career.
Truth is, many of us today are not truly happy with our lives in career. This deep rooted secret unhappiness has nothing to do with where we work or even our income. It's purely based on a subconscious awareness that there is something missing in our lives.
Many times and from many teachers, self-control has been taught and related from the perspective of an individual having self-restrain. This simply means the ability to stop yourself from indulging when lured, tempted and seduced unto destructive behaviours and tendencies.
It's about not responding to the lust of the flesh and carnal cravings with negative consequences. It's about being disciplined – doing what is right instead of what you like at all times. In summary, self-control has been preached from the perspective of stopping yourself from doing wrong.
This morning however, I'd like to explain in a more extended fashion the real meaning of self-control. I'll want to explain it properly within absolute context and as it relates to good growth, performance, wellbeing and success in life.
Self-control is not just the power to stop yourself from doing wrong or yielding to temptation.
Self-control is actually about you being in control of yourself. It's you being in charge of your whole being.
Control is about being in charge, having the power to determine what happens and to a large extent determine outcomes.
The person in control is the person in charge, the person in charge is the one who dictates, the one who dictates is the one who rules. Self-control is basically self-rule.
Many businesses today and indeed employees are concerned and anxious about what the immediate future holds regarding the Nigerian business environment – the state of the economy, business opportunities, growth possibilities and steady revenue. Things aren't looking very bright right now business wise and many businesses are considering the option of rightsizing as a way to remain alive and healthy as a business.
This morning, I'd like to share a professional view point and option that I think many of us tend to disregard which as a matter of fact is the most vital consideration in remaining healthy and profitable in such a season as this. To all business owners and commercial experts out there, I'll like to throw some light on the most vital growth element of your business this year; the customer. This episode I've titled, do you still know them?
It's no longer news that quite a number of changes have occurred in the last few months within our nation that have impacted the way we run things, the way we think things and how we manage things especially as business owners and business managers. New policies, new processes, new requirements and behaviours put in place by the government continue to prompt adjustments and adaptation and fresh thinking in the way we should be running our businesses now to remain profitable.
There are some words and terms that I really value and appreciate on the account of their importance in capturing critical subjects of life. Comprehending in totality the meaning of these words as a matter of fact, can reposition your view, perspective and understanding of what the matter represents and projects. One of such words for me is season.
The word season, is used to describe not just time but experience as well. Naturally for many of us when we hear season, what comes to mind is a time or a period, which is not incorrect. But season is much more than time, it captures both time and experience in multiple ways and exciting dimensions I'll like to expatiate on and interlink this morning, so as for you to have a comprehensive and ample understanding of this powerful word, season.
If you do not fully grasp this concept of season, it may be tough for you not to miss out on the best of what is referenced by the word season.
Firstly, a season describes each of the various divisions of the year, dry season and wet season in some parts of the world, spring, summer, autumn, and winter, in some other parts and they are marked by particular weather patterns and daylight hours, resulting from the earth's changing position with regard to the sun.
Are you going through some pretty difficult stuff? Are you facing some challenges it appears you're going to go down anytime soon if care is not taken? Is the current socioeconomic situation taking a toll on you and you seem helpless? I'd like to share a true story with you this morning and just encourage you to hang in there.
It was in February she spoke to me. I had been invited to facilitate a team coaching activity in her company and after I was done she asked to have a word with me in private.
As soon as we were far enough from her other colleagues and had a bit of privacy she began to cry. I was a bit taken aback but not so surprised. I've had to deal with many people overwhelmed by their crisis in time past so I just kept my cool and allowed her cry for a while. Then she began to speak.
According to her, things were going pretty well for them all through last year. A relatively young family of five – three children, with their first child being 8 years old and the last one about two years old. The three children were already in school; a very good school, pricey, but good.
From Christ Society International Outreach under:
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From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under:
From Frankly Speaking With Muyiwa Afolabi under: