TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - MOBILISING SELF SUPPORT.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 29, January 2015 09:38:59, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 667.
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It's a pattern that has been repeated over and over and over again and it seems we don't pay attention or we do not care, we just ignore and probably assume that's the way it should be.

I'm talking about a common occurrence in life whereby an individual is appointed or elected into a powerful and influential office and suddenly his or her popularity seems to escalate. Congratulatory messages begin and continue to pour in from every nook and cranny, from people you know and those you don't, from old friends and colleagues, from relatives both close and distant, in fact people from your local government or town begin to claim blood relationship with you, if you have similar names; you automatically become their brother or sister. While in that office or still occupying that position your office or home is never empty of crowd and people, many just come in to say hello, very many more seeking for help and assistance and others bringing gifts and favours your way.

It's usually like that, once that position of influence comes, there is this big man syndrome or behaviour attached to it.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - YOUR ENCOUNTERS.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 28, January 2015 10:01:38, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 863.
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Our perspective in and about life most times influence our decisions, choices, actions and results. How you see the world, the way you see your life determines the successes or otherwise you're likely to accomplish through your journey.

What kind of view should you hold as far as life is concerned? How should you see the world in general and your world in particular?

You see, many of us see this life the way it's been painted to us by the people around us.

Many yet, hold views based on media exposure; what you saw on TV, heard on the radio, read on the internet and so on.

Others hold strong views about life based on their faith and religious convictions. And very many people hold on to views about life based on their immediate environment and personal experiences.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - DISORGANISED.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 27, January 2015 12:29:05, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1004.
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Many times we look at our lives and our achievements and there's this wide gap between our dreams, expectations and realities. We keep considering and applying many advice and experience as shared by people with tangible results and proof, and we tend to apply what they say yet, we keep falling short when it comes to progress, achievements, and success.

We work so hard, read so hard, learn so many things, keep our relationships intact, we know our jobs and businesses so well, everyone appears impressed with what we know, our capabilities and abilities but ironically, they are unwilling to trust us with so much or commit so much to us. We wonder why and even they, are really not clear on why they're sceptical about entrusting us with much resources and responsibilities.

Consequently we think we're unlucky or we're hexed. We begin to seek divine intervention and think we need deliverance.

Everyone knows and can testify to the fact that we're really good and hardworking, but many can't see through the real reason for our lack or great opportunities and privileges.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 26, January 2015 12:08:07, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1136.
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Every one of us has got natural tendencies and inclinations towards pleasant, positive and rewarding outcomes in life. Many want to be comfortable, healthy, rich, successful, powerful and influential in life. We want to take charge of our individual worlds. We wish to determine the turnout of events, have our say and have our ways. We naturally desire things to happen exactly how we want it.

For example a young man wooing a lady would want a yes from her and not otherwise. Every young man would wish they could walk up to any girl of their choice, woo her and have her without rejection, rebuff or better still insult.

Every single lady also wish they can actually choose and marry the man they really want, especially if they find themselves in a situation where they are seriously been chased by their dream man's friend. Consequently, many women today I presume are probably married to the best man available when they were ready for marriage and not the type they truly dreamt of. Many married women today may silently wish their men were a little taller with a sexier physic, well groomed -no pot belly, power dresser, neater, more passionate, caring, romantic, hardworking, intelligent, richer, sensitive, courageous, powerful and intellectual.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - YOUR BUILDING MATERIAL.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 23, January 2015 09:58:49, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1225.
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Too many people have spoken to me and keep talking to me and others about this year. Many people are so afraid, petrified and discouraged on the account of the many challenging incidences and developments in our nation. The political scene, economic conditions, austerity measure, foreign exchange, global oil prices, terrorism, rumours on massive retrenchment, rising cost of goods and services, inflation and the likes. To many, this year as it appears could be quite stormy.

Our journeys through this year appears like sailing through a very stormy and precarious weather, they think. With thunder, and lightening and heavy dark clouds and very strong winds threatening to rip apart our sails; push the many waters into our boats and capsize eventually. Very few people are extremely confident they would have a very good year, very few people, business establishments and institutions can chest beat to say the end of this year shall deliver very good tidings for them.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - SHUT YOUR DOORS.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 22, January 2015 09:22:48, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1495.
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Success in life is not automatic. You don't stumble on success, you plan and work and follow through your plans before you can confidently say you're successful.

Now, as I'd always explain that success is not measured by riches or material possessions. Real success is about knowing your purpose, having a dream in line with the purpose, writing out a plan, developing strategies for accomplishment, implementing your strategy, achieving stated goals and fulfilling purpose – that is success.

Now if you do not know your purpose; if you're not clear about why you exist, if you don't have a clear understanding of your place in this world, if your life is about guesses, trial and error; following the masses, chasing after the next popular thing, I'm afraid you may never savour what real success is like. The real fulfilment that comes when you serve your reason for being may elude you, there would be this emptiness within no money, fame, popularity and material possessions can fill, everyone may look at you and your accomplishment; envy you and term you successful but on your inside there would be this void, an emptiness, a dissatisfaction you will feel.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - WHAT ARE YOU BURYING?.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 21, January 2015 10:33:11, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1334.
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This journey through life is not a piece of cake. There are good times and bad times, we go through tough times and cool times, high times and low times. Life is unstable, unpredictable, challenging and dynamic.

What makes us happy today could bring us pain tomorrow. People that claim to love us today can turn around and stab us in the back tomorrow. A fantastic job or employment today can be extremely frustrating and exasperating tomorrow. A best friend today can be your worst enemy tomorrow. A nice time within the twinkle of an eye can become a nightmare. Sometimes we lose and sometimes we win. But as mankind we keep on keeping on; refusing to let our experiences and circumstances get in the way of our dreams, goals, ambition and even responsibilities.

Our strengths are best tested not in good times but through the tough and challenging times. The seasons of rejection, deprivation, betrayal, loneliness, hurt, pain and even bereavement tests our strengths.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - ACADEMIC INFLATION.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 20, January 2015 10:09:44, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1389.
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Lately I began to think about it and I considered how life was then, back in the days over three decades ago when many mature youth of today were still in school and how life is now. So different. The corporate world, the social world, the economic environment, exposure, enlightenment, information, priorities, values and lifestyle. Things are very much different 30 years ago from how things are today.

Then I started to think. When I was in school, the tutoring and training and education was mainly to equip us on how to cope and fit into the life of then, we were educated and trained in school to cope with how life was in the 80s, not as it is now because no teacher or academician saw this future or could teach this future.

So I drew this conclusion, formal education does have its limits, in that it does not really prepare anyone adequately for tomorrow, it can only prepare students for the world as it is and as seen today - the corporate culture of today, social culture of today, economic landscape of today, science and technology as obtainable today – hmn, a today these students will never function within.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - THE STIGMA OF MISTAKES.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 19, January 2015 11:41:08, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1491.
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As humans, many times we overrate ourselves in terms of our true power, potential and abilities. Many times we are encouraged to focus mainly on what we have the ability to do and deemphasise the realities of our limitations, inhibitions and weaknesses.

We are often encouraged to go for goals, achieve our dreams, our visions and make real our possibilities; hardly are we told how to make it within the constraints of our unique and peculiar weaknesses and limitations. We all have different limitations hence will require personalised support towards succeeding.

I am a strong advocate of success in life, but I'm also a realist when it comes to individual and collective weaknesses; hence I will not tell you what you can do or what you're capable of doing without teaching you the way to do it despite your personal constraints.

It is not a balance approach to life when told your weaknesses don't matter and it's only your strengths that count. Many have been stopped by their weaknesses irrespective of their strengths.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - THE PEOPLE.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 16, January 2015 09:42:32, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1853.
4 Comments

It was just one day, I sat down and really began to think about it. I have tried very hard to ensure I keep every major area of my life in check. Not so easy but, I choose to do the right things most times and do my best to excel. I try to manage my finances well, my career efficiently, my relationships effectively and my health in good condition. I just keep doing all I can to live a happy and comfortable life. But for a long while I kept experiencing upsets and real hurt from time to time. As much as I tried to remain happy it was difficult, so that day I had to take a look at my life and deal with the root cause of my frequent gloom.

After considering all the issues, I suddenly discovered the major source of my unhappiness. – People.

Many of us naturally want to do what will make people happy with us; love or at least like us and be kind to us. We are very sensitive to the way people see us, think of us and speak of us. We try as much as possible to be seen as good, nice and kind, we want a good reputation; we want everyone to reckon with us particularly as touching our being nice.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - A HEART CONDITION.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 15, January 2015 10:16:10, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1599.
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Is this my life, is this all there is to me, you begin to think. You arrive at a point in your life when you're utterly confused and at your very end. You do not know what else to do or how else to work it, you don't even know where and how to turn, you're stuck in a place and situation too hard for you to crack, too tough to cope with and too overwhelming to comprehend.

You don't even know the next step to take. You're too tired, emotionally and psychologically to consider new options or initiatives. You have become devastated, discouraged and shattered to be able to even think again. The world now looks impossible, your life now appears out of your control, you feel all that's left is for you to just float and exist, you think all the principles and advise and ideas successful people share daily are just but a ruse, you're now almost sure this life is a tragedy, your hope is all gone, your faith is failing, no one appears genuine anymore; everything appears just like a maze or a puzzle you can never resolve. You are disappointed.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - FIXING PERCEPTION.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 14, January 2015 09:30:43, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1419.
5 Comments

Have you ever found yourself in a position to defend yourself and convince people you're not guilty of an act, a behaviour or a tendency, yet they chose not to believe you?

Have you been so embarrassed by a false accusation coming from someone you trust and believe should know better? Have you ever been a victim of the frustration of a wrong conclusion on a matter you're totally innocent of and people just assume the reason you're not owning up is more out of shame and embarrassment than the truth?

It can be very painful when people you love, trust and believe should know you chose to conclude you're guilty of a matter you're completely innocent of and they speak in tongues like, don't worry, it's not a big deal, anyone can fall victim, you're not the first and you won't be the last, just own up and tell us the truth. And you're looking at them not even knowing what to say but of course feeling so pained that someone so close can believe you could do something he's never seen you do before.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - WHAT YOU TRULY VALUE.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 13, January 2015 10:12:23, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1540.
3 Comments

I was amused, I was laughing but I was also disappointed by the gist my wife was sharing with me. According to her, she was at a leading private secondary school in Lagos to see a friend, then a lady; one of the parent to some students came around to see the school manager. It was on matters of bills; school fees precisely. This woman hadn't paid the school fees of her three children for the previous term and the school authorities were threatening not to allow her kids into class in this new term.That's why she came around to plead with the management to be patient with her and give her some time to raise the money; promising she would pay as soon as she could.

After she left, the school manager in irritation began to share with my wife that the woman was given the school fees for the previous term by her husband to pay, but this woman decided to use the money to purchase some clothing and jewelleries for a wedding she considered important, holding at about that same time; believing she would be able to raise the money from someplace else, somehow to pay the fees, unfortunately, it didn't pan out like she planned.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - YOUR LIFE CONDITION.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 12, January 2015 11:24:52, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1690.
8 Comments

A couple of days ago, I was driving somewhere on the island in Lagos and was suddenly stuck in traffic. The vehicles moved very slowly along the road and in my exasperation I began to distract myself by taking note and paying attention to different things and people around me.

Suddenly two young ladies caught my attention. They were both cladded in their NYSC outfits. They were apparently excited about something, they were laughing, nudging and shoving each other and mischievously trying to wave down any good looking car probably for a lift or something, but clearly, it was out of mischief considering the way they were going about it.

They were perceptibly friends, close and excited about each other. They were about the same height, both corps members, but I noticed a major difference between both ladies.

They were both like 21; at most 23 in age judging by the way they looked. One of the ladies was dark in complexion; well, say caramel in skin colour.

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - THE TRAP OF KNOWING.
By Muyiwa Afolabi, On 09, January 2015 10:26:02, in the Category Frankly Speaking.Total Views 1736.
4 Comments

And every day I keep looking at them and I keep wondering when I see them express excitement and pleasure in the fact that they have been able to discover themselves. I'm talking about folks whom through grace and knowledge have been able to identify exactly what their purpose is and how well equipped they are to fulfil this purpose.

I watch them as they talk to others about understanding purpose and how knowing one's purpose marks the beginning of a life with meaning. They keep nodding in approval when I'm teaching on discovering and understanding purpose and after my lectures they put up their hands not to ask questions but to further share what they know and their personal experience in discovering purpose and how happy they have become since they discovered theirs.

I look at them, listen to what they have to say then I try to reconcile their lives and what they're currently doing with what they keep saying and dear friends, I see a huge gap.

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